By Nick Miller
A quick disclaimer: I don’t approach my marriage like a dog trainer. I don’t think that would have gone over so well with my progressive, and independent (and lovely) wife. But owning a dog is a long term relationship, and there are certain things that are constant in any relationship, no matter what species we’re talking about. So hold the wise cracks for the end of post 🙂
Part 1 of 3
Relationships take work – You know that general formula for a good romantic comedy? Guy meets girl. Guy falls for girl. Guy gets girl. Guy loses girl. Guy gets girl back. Roll credits. Convenient how the movie always stops at the blossoming of the new relationship, right? Just at the beginning of the honeymoon phase? But we all know that life moves on and that that immediate infatuation changes over time (I mean, thank God, or else we’d be the most unproductive species ever known on earth)! Life settles and we have our ups and downs in our relationships. And yes, it takes work. I refute the claim that it should be HARD work (love you, babe ;)), but work nonetheless.
Think about our relationships with our dogs. We bring them home, a puppy or an older rescue. The puppy is SO cute and we are completely infatuated. Yes, there are the puppy training issues that occur, housebreaking, whining in the crate, etc. But we’re wearing rose colored glasses so none of that stuff really matters. Then our puppy is suddenly a young dog, say 5-6 months old. The pulling on the leash (that was mildly annoying at 3-4 months) is getting a little old. We get frustrated, but instead of doing the work (Because it’s just that, work. And it might put us outside of our comfort zone) we just kind of avoid the whole situation. Marriage therapist I am not, but dog trainer I am, and I know for a fact that avoiding problems in our relationship with our dog begets more problems.
Let me say this again, avoiding problems in our relationship with our dog begets more problems.
The work often consists of small changes that make big differences overtime, and it’s usually not glamorous. But it transcends basic training, this is where real behavior modification takes place. So make sure you show up every day and put in the work for a lasting positive relationship with your dog.
When it’s Family Time, Be Present – TV’s, computers, smart phones, and that’s just the technological distractions that we deal with on a regular basis. I admit it, when I’m home with my family I sometimes need to remind myself that it’s time to stop checking my email and just be present. The same thing can happen to us when we’re out on a walk with our dog, especially given the ease with which we can access text messages, emails and the internet at large via smart phones. As I said above, avoiding problems with your dog will only beget more problems, and one of the easiest ways of avoiding a problem is by simply not being aware that there is one! If we find ourselves continually distracted while with our dog, then we might miss the subtle clues in their body language that is key to recognizing certain behaviors before they occur.
Check back soon for parts 2 and 3!
You can contact Nick via email at nick@urbanhounds.com, and follow him on Twitter and Instagram @nicklesarescary. This blog post was approved by his wife, Amy.